Blog du Wren

Memorial For Della

Recently, we gathered together to celebrate, mourn, remember, and honor Della. The memorial turned out great, on a beautiful September afternoon with so many wonderful people around. There were a lot of tears, but a lot of smiles and laughter as well. Stories were shared, songs were sung, facts were learned, and togetherness was experienced. As a friend eloquently put it, for something that shouldn't have had to fucking happen, it turned out perfect.

(In hopes of sharing the experience with those that couldn't make it (and to capture for archival purposes), here's a recap.)

The service portion took place on a "" made on a flat bed truck decorated so beautifully with flowers, pictures, candles, and more. For speakers, we had me, a recorded piece from Chris, Squeek, Stan, Shanny, Deanna, Mylee, Sarah, Sadye leading a song*, then me again. RJ played music beforehand. Everyone's words were just right, really highlighting so many aspect of Della. (There will be a video recording of service. If you'd like to watch it, e-mail me and I'll get you the link.)

After the service portion, the 250-300 attendees were encouraged to stick around, mingle, and enjoy the "stations" we set up around the beautiful Deming Logging Show grounds. The stations included:

welcome table, with programs (pages 1,2,3,4) and Dellapalooza calendars*
looping slideshow (video available here)
performance video compilation (90 minutes of dancing pig, juggling, eyeball, hot dogs, and more)
altars with so many meaningful things on them
art station to display some of her art and for kiddos to color her coloring book
tea station featuring a specially made tea blend
letters to Della station

And now it's done. I think we did Della proud. And while it was, by all accounts, wonderful (which I whole-heartedly agree with and am absolutely grateful for), for me, this memorial was more than just a time to gather together with people who also cared for Della and to celebrate her; it was the last big thing, the last big requirement of me in a long list of the stuff that needs to be done upon a loved one's death. There are still things (following the trial, dealing with clothes, continuing to spread the word that drunk driving kills, etc.), but this was big and having it done, and done well, is a relief. In a way, I think I've been putting a lot of my personal healing process on hold until after this big rite. Now I'm faced with not having that next thing, that next obligation that directs me in this directionless process. We shall see.

Lastly, a huge thanks to the team of folks that helped make the event what it was. And to the people that came. Without all of you, it wouldn't have been nearly as special.

Sunday October 3 2021

File under: Della

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on Mon 04th Oct, 2021 11:58 pm EDT Ryan Walters said:
It was a beautiful event that better captured a person's spirit than any other memorial I've ever attended.
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